Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
