Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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