i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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