You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
