he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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