What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize