I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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