even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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