You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
this just has baby written all over it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
