Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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