I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
