dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
