he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
