I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
