My liver just broke up with me...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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