Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
