it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize