It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
