I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
