Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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