yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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