Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
