3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
