and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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