Don't you send me to vm
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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