You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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