i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
