Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
