Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
