I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
