he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
