Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
