Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
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I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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