considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
