I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize