maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
