Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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