I like to think it a success when the cops are called
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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