I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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