Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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