yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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