Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
3 2 1 whiskey
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
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