This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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