Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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