that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
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you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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