So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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