my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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