My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The air taste purple.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
