She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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