i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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