if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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