So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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