look no pants
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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