I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
