My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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