You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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