help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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