loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
