Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mouth tastes like poor choices
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
