yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
