I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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