If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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