The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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